my name is jessie. were holding hands now

yesings:

what if i died in like twenty years and all i left my girlfriend was a box and like she gasps and reaches down to her chest where her key necklace hangs that i gave her twenty two years ago, and she uses it to unlock the box and all that is in there is a string which you can pull to reveal an embarrassing photo of spongebob at the christmas party

(Source: miniaturepoodle, via whoredinarygirl)

Notes
189829
Posted
13 hours ago

johannathemad:

schrodingersvet:

crab-cakes:

mukuroikusaba:

image

I CANT FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT I AM SEEING

I lied. This is it. This is the whole series.

How the fuck has no one made a comic to this yet

(Source: byrde, via unicornvscat)

Notes
226570
Posted
13 hours ago
amenparis:

If you close your eyes right before Mrs. George’s new boobs hit, your brain will think that you have died. Some people find calmness in this.

amenparis:

If you close your eyes right before Mrs. George’s new boobs hit, your brain will think that you have died. Some people find calmness in this.

(via asian)

Notes
161089
Posted
13 hours ago

gaythot:

adult: are you ready for school?

me: image

(via kuzkospoison)

Notes
27
Posted
16 hours ago

seerofsarcasm:

persystella:

groot is probs assumed to be male but tbh i figure groot is a lil genderless being. who needs the gender binary when you’re a celestial tree creature. riddle me that.

"Are you a boy, or a girl?"
"I am Groot."

(via asian)

Notes
47569
Posted
1 day ago

You was real cute til u had said that stupid shit

(via oprahwingdings)

Notes
45769
Posted
1 day ago

meladoodle:

hey guys my blog got deleted my old url was “i-used-a-dangerous-money-making-scheme-and-now-im-upset-that-theres-repercussions.tumblr.com” i used to have 1,000,000 followers and now i have no place to use shady ways to make money so help me out please. i’m so upset and sincere right now even though my bank account is flourishing so please feel sorry for me after i completely abused my power on the internet

(via dunkindont)

Notes
19593
Posted
1 day ago

seerofsarcasm:

piggyazalea:

sharkeisha:

a lot of people are STILL asking me how Iggy Azalea is racist and homophobic so i’m just going to make a proper post 

in addition to all of this she also calls herself a “slave master” at 0:06 in this video

the amount of notes on this post

Which is funny, because not only is she not actually American, she also made all her money illegally for the first five years she was here.

(via dunkindont)

Notes
89658
Posted
1 day ago

zbrexx:

zbrexx:

how did the telephone propose to his girlfriend?

he gave her a ring image

(Source: unrellevahnt, via bastille)

Notes
554882
Posted
1 day ago
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